Monday, August 23, 2010

Piranha 3D: The Perfect Mindless Summer Movie

Not every movie that is made is destined be an award winning piece of high art. Some are meant to be down and dirty, using the lowest common denominators of excessive violence, gore, sex and nudity in order to bring in an audience. While many times the result is sad and exploitative, occasionally a movie has so much of these elements in it that it becomes an enjoyable outing. Your mind will not grow from seeing the movie, but you will have a fun time.

Piranha 3D might redefine the definition of a mindless summer movie. It has nothing intelligent to say to its audience. And it’s so full of plot holes one wonders if the script was written over a drunken weekend. The plot itself is as flimsy as they come: an earthquake releases thousands of prehistoric piranhas into a lake during spring break, where hundreds of horny college students have invaded a small lakeside town. Elisabeth Shue plays the town sheriff who’s trying to get everyone out of the lake, Jerry O’Connell plays the obnoxious host of a girls gone wild type series who hires the sheriff’s son (Steven R. McQueen) to find good filming locations, and Christopher Lloyd pops up as a crazed fish expert.

But none of that seems to matter. What matters is that there are many sights in this movie that have to be seen to be believed. Richard Dreyfuss singing “Show Me the Way to Go Home”. Two women performing an underwater nude ballet that lasts for three uninterrupted minutes. A man riding a jet ski and shooting at the piranha with a shotgun. A guy plowing into dozens of people as he tries to escape the carnage in a speedboat. A girl having her face ripped off by a propeller. A man’s severed penis eaten by a piranha and then spit back out (yes, this actually happens). If you think you’re being spoiled from these tidbits, don’t worry. There’s at least 50 other sights one will experience within this movie.

The movie is of course released in 3D, and the result is for the most part worth the extra admission. While no where near as strong as the 3D effects in Avatar, they aren’t fuzzy and unnecessary. Audiences will squirm all the more when flying body parts come flying out at you and the killer fish jump right in your face.

While I enjoy smart movies that make you think, I also see the value in turning your brain off and going for the ride at the cinema. And Piranha 3D is the most mindless enjoy the ride movie that’s been made in years. Go out and see it. You might hate to admit it, but you’ll have a good time.

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